


For the Faithless

by MiniMoffat



Category: D Gray Man, D. Gray Man
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6596977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniMoffat/pseuds/MiniMoffat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unwritten events through the three month timeskip revolving around Lenalee and the disappearance of Lavi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

   She didn't know how long she had been kneeling there. Hours, she could tell that much, by the way the morning dew had soaked into the thigh highs of the new uniform. All she could do was  _stare_. Stare at the nothingness that Allen Walker had left behind as he had closed the gap between them-- the gap that would now make them enemies. Lenalee had lost the motivation to get up once the Ark had closed. After all, the threat had left as Allen had. The Noah had only been interested in  _him_.

   Kanda had left a traitor as well. While he was brash and rude, he had been the one she had known the  **LONGEST** out of the exorcists. He had become a constant, though he seemed to sooner wish her away from his company. Lenalee's hands balled into fists on top of her thighs, wishing for tears that had stopped long ago. Fingers dug into her skirt's fabric, her whole body shaking as she allowed the memories of her friends to come flooding to her mind once more.

   Finally, one hand found it's way towards the damp grass, helping to push her to her feet. Her legs felt wobbly, slightly asleep from the position she had been kneeling in for so long. The realization came that while her best friends had left her side, there were still people whom she cared about. The friends she had lived for were not only the exorcists that had left, but they were simply the easiest to focus on. Red heels turned weakly, stumbling in the direction of the castle that Timcampy had destroyed. Lips pressed tightly together, her arms wrapping around her to shield her from the chill of the early morning hours.

   That's right, she still had Komui. Komui, who had likely been beside himself at her not returning. There would be Johnny, who had already blamed himself so much for Tapp's death. Bak, who while refused to talk to her, had heard had a deep  _RESPECT_ for her. The smallest hint of a smile formed upon her lips, imagining their faces of relief as she walked through the castle doors once more. Surely, they had already sent for Lavi to return to the castle and he would arrive soon, his arms wrapping around her so tightly that she felt  _SAFE_ once more. Somehow, he had made a habit of making her feel safe.

   Lenalee's feet picked up the pace, tears finally stinging at her eyes once more. This time, it wasn't the feeling of  **GRIEF** , but the need to see her family once more. While she had  **HATED** the God that had given her the Dark Boots, He had also brought this family to her. No matter what, she'd have Komui and Lavi to stand beside her. She'd wake up each morning and be able to give them a cup of coffee and smile. After all, Allen  _ALWAYS_ came back. In a week or so, there'd be a mission in which he couldn't simply ignore. His left eye would call out to him to join the exorcists once more, and her and Lavi would be standing there with a big smile.

   It was only when the castle was in sight that she allowed the tears to fall, however. Relief flooded over her and she could see Komui already standing at the gate, a golem likely having told him that she was back. Lenalee's lip quivered and she felt the exhaustion of her body to an overwhelming degree, causing her to land on her knees just before she made it. Instead, her brother came rushing towards her, calling out her name. Her hands clutched at his white coat and despite her tears, a laugh emerged from her lips. 

   "Brother..." Lenalee couldn't help but smile, though any relief he had once had quickly drained from his face. It took her a moment, but dark brows pressed tightly together, trying to read his expression without the need for words. Who had died? It was the  **ONLY** solution she could think of. The only thing that kept her brother going, aside from simply  _HER_ , was the exorcists. Finally, the blood drained from her own cheeks. Weakly, her hands let go of his coat. "Lavi--?"

   Komui knelt down beside her and all she could think for a moment was how his white uniform was getting dirty-- anything to focus on something  **OTHER** than the truth. She couldn't quite make out the words that he was saying.  _NOAH_.  _CAPTURED_. Once more, she could feel her body begin to shut down on her. Any hint of happiness or relief she had felt by coming back to the castle washed away. Her brother's arms held little warmth for her as she looked past him at the rubble that had found it's way near the gate. Any moment, Lavi would return and he would stand there with his arms crossed, a huge grin on his forehead. He'd  **APOLOGIZE** for scaring her like that. However, as the moments passed, the door did not open, nor did she hear his voice from behind her.

   "I couldn't  **SAVE** them." It was all she could manage to get out as her hands wrapped weakly around her brother's shoulders. It was only then that his grasp tightened and he pulled her to her feet, though she felt it nearly impossible to keep herself upright. "Allen, Kanda..." Each name broke her world down just a little bit more. "And Lavi-- he--"

   He had always been the one to stand beside her when her world came crumbling around her. Ever since they had become comrades, he took it upon himself to stand beside her. For the first time, she had wondered if she had taken him for granted. Whenever he stood beside her and supported her, it was important to her, but she hadn't done the same for him.

   "Well find them, Lenalee." Finally, dark hues made their way towards her brother instead of the castle in front of them. Clenching her teeth tightly together, she shook her head. While she had Krory and Miranda, they were not the ones she had bonded with. They were not the ones who had held her hand when things went wrong. They weren't even the ones who  **PROTECTED** her from the man that had once experimented on her. They weren't  _LAVI_.

   One foot shuffled in front of the other, her stomach churning. She had made a promise to him once, no matter how  **DIM** the light in front of her seemed now, that she would stop running. She had meant it and she  _STILL_ meant it. Fists clenched tightly together, dark hues closing despite the unfamiliar path in front of her. Even though her dreams would be haunted by them, she could only wish to see her friends once more. If there was any hope for  _ANY_ of them, she would be the one to find it.


	2. For the Torn Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavi being tortured. Can be skipped, but if you want the full emotional turmoil of this fic, have fun.

He could feel his body rebelling against him. No matter how much he wanted to get up, the Noah's powers and the pain that pulsated through his body forced him down. The tackiness of the blood on his cheek had become an annoyance-- something to distract himself as the Noah tried to interrogate the old man next to him. As much as he wanted the pain to end, he knew the secrets that the Bookman held could not get into the hands of the wrong people.

However, he had known that Bookman had worked with the Noah before. It wasn't a secret to many, after all. Fingernails clenched into the fabric of the chair he was bound to, his mind wandering to the idea that the Noah were only bad people because of who he had spent his time with. Images of white hair flashed before him, wondering how much The Fourteenth had over taken him already. He could see Kanda's uncaring face in the background, which if he wished more than anything he could tease. Then, Lenalee. The guilt was overwhelming. As often as he was told to keep his emotions in check and to stand on the sidelines, he found himself unable to do so around her.

Perhaps it was her smile and the way that she was able to brighten the mood of nearly anyone. Hell, she was the only one who was truly able to stop Kanda when he decided someone needed to die. Lavi bit down on the inside of his cheek, remembering the cold, wet atmosphere as she awoke from her near death. He remembered the black marks that appeared on her body, rendering her useless to The Order for the time being. All he felt then was relief. Relief that, despite his instructions, she was still alive. She was still in this world.

The Noah spoke little about her, which was able to bring him _some_ relief. She was not their target for the time being. All they wanted was to get information on The Fourteenth. He could only imagine how worried she must have been. How the sleepless nights and her fear of being the only one left was quickly becoming a reality for her. If somehow, he could reach her and tell her that it was alright-- that no matter what happened, _he_ was alright, he'd feel a little better about it. Perhaps she'd understand that as much as he didn't want to leave, he had to. That no matter what, the blame wasn't on her.

A sting brought him out of his thoughts, but only for a moment. He glanced up towards the Noah, lips pressed tightly together. Even after all this, he could feel the stubborn nature boiling inside of him. He wanted to fight. He wanted to be able to stand up and fight for everything he believed in. For The Order. However, this was different. Chills ran up his spine upon seeing the rage within Sherill's face and the ginger's brows knit tightly together in confusion.

He hadn't been paying much attention, he had to admit. With the torture that he had been put through already, his mind was easily escaping reality to try and force some sort of calmness upon him. Green hues made their way towards the man beside him, not in an attempt to beg, but wishing to say goodbye. While the words wouldn't come out, he forced a smile upon his lips, only to be torn away as he heard the crack of bone and his gaze shot towards his finger bending backwards.

One by one, his fingers were snapped as if they were carrots. His screams seemed unable to reach the small man beside him, as every time Lavi glanced over, his gaze was not met. As much as he hated it, he understood. It was what he had been trained to do, after all. He had to protect the history that the Bookmen had written time and time again. They did not interfere with the future, but merely recorded it. This was something else that would go into the books. Lavi couldn't help but wonder if his name would be used, or if they would simply write 'Bookman JR'. He nearly felt a laugh bubble up, knowing that he would not be remembered for who he was. Allen's mind was being taken by The Fourteenth. Kanda was missing, possibly killed by Alma Karma. Lenalee would be the one to carry any memories of him.

When Sherill's hands found their way to the Exorcists' cheeks, green hues glanced up at them. The yellow ones staring back at him were unlike what he had seen before. Before, when it was merely about The Fourteenth and not the disappearance of Road, they had been calm and collected. Now, he could only imagine this is what a grieving parent might truly look like. The words the other spoke were not registering within his mind anymore-- the pain numbed out any other sort of comprehension he might have still had. 

Perhaps, he had finally understood what the other was feeling. The need to protect someone close to them and being unable to do so. While there was an uncharacteristic fear that lingered within him, it wasn't for his death. Not directly, at least. It was that he couldn't prove Lenalee's fears wrong. It wasn't that he could go back home and laugh with him and the friends he had tried to force from his heart. It was that, despite everything he had done, his friends were still in danger. While he had admittedly done a terrible job as a Bookman while with them, he had made himself an Exorcist. He had promised himself that no matter what, he would stand by and protect them. Lavi forced a hint of a smile upon his lips, the ability to nod weakly seeming like an enormous effort. 

The hands clenched his cheeks tighter.


End file.
